Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
