I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
