I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
