Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She bit a glass in half.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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