I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
