im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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