Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
