And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
