And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
