I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
