I wannas sexs uuuuu
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
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