would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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