Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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