I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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