She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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