I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize