the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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