Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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