Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
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