you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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