i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
