time to smoke my breakfast
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'd cum for enchiladas.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
