she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
