How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
