I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize