Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
