I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
