my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
