the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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