thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Randomize
