32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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