I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
