hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
We had sex on a dog bed..
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
