Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
