I think scott just propositioned me for sex
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize