come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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