You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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