so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
He uses pillows to masturbate.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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