Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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