I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
