Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
