if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
