Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
