my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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