Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
