It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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