i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
