Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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