and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
