It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
