I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize