so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
