That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
