I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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