Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Holy sore nipples Batman
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
