If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize
